Things have been in constant flux since Lilly’s Diagnosis with Type 1 Diabetes. I already feel much more confident than we did just 3 weeks ago, but what I’ve realized is that diabetes is a life long learning process, and unfortunately there is not a lot of set right or wrong answers.

Diabetes is kind of like playing poker. Sure, you can study your opponent and learn many of its quirks and “tells”. You can become a master at the strategy of the game and knowing how to play so that you tip the odds in your favor. You may get so good that you become very adept at being in control of the game and even win a lot of the time. But in the end the outcome is never the same, because there’s that element that you cannot control.

In poker, no matter how good you are, you are at the mercy of the luck of the draw. If you could just flip through the deck and SEE the cards before they were dealt you could win every time (or at least protect yourself from a huge loss), but since you can’t you have to give it your best educated guess and hope you’re right.

Diabetes is the same way. You can study yourself silly, get the most up to date information, the best technology, the latest research. You can talk to others who are experienced with the disease, talk to your doctor, your endocrinologist, your dietician. You can count every carb, calculate your insulin perfectly, chose the best injection sites, log every incident efficiently.. Be a model diabetic (or parent of a diabetic)..

But in the end you can’t see all the cards. You are not privvy to the inner workings of your child’s body, so cannot possibly know all of the factors going into their glucose levels. Your best efforts can be wrong, simply because you didn’t know that the next card was a 2 instead of the Ace you planned for.

I could go into pity mode and write a post about how hard this is for us to adjust to, how trying, how stressfull, etc. But that isn’t what I’m writing this for. I’m writing because in a few short days it is Thanksgiving, when we Americans traditionally reflect on the things we’re thankful for and look at all the things that we love about our life.

In these last 29 days I have come face to face with many of my own shortcomings and areas in my life that I THOUGHT I had figured out, but really had no idea what I was doing. I have realized quite a few things about friendship and although painfully, become a bit wiser in terms of what I find important.

I have gained a new view of my life and what I want to do within the next year. There will be changes in our family and huge changes within the phaunt world (more to come on that later), but I wanted to take this post to acknowledge the things I am thankful for.

So.. without further ado, the phaunt Thanksgivingday THANK YOU list..

I am thankful for:

• My husband. This year has been one of great change in our relationship and family. We’ve been married 7 years now, and while it’s never been easy (we’re both a bit stubborn and strong willed), I have never regretted our choice to commit to each other for life. My husband is my hero, not only because he has served his country as a Marine, but because he is an amazing father and husband. He has put up with my craziness for this long, which I am amazed at, because I drive myself crazy with my craziness most of the time.  He has been amazing with this transition, giving me the strength and support I need, helping Lilly, all the quite continuing to do his own full time school.

• My Katie Bear: Her infectious giggle and sly smile warm my heart. She’s a bright spot in my day, always able to cheer me up, no matter what I’m dealing with. I love watching her grow and change every day.

• My family. The support, knowledge, understanding, help, compassion and willingness to put up with my questions and whining is amazing. I love you guys and wouldn’t be this sane without you.

• Modern Medicine: While diabetes is still a “poker game” I thank God that there have been the advances that have allowed this to not be a death sentence. Even in the last 10 years there has been advances that  have made the life of a child with diabetes much more liveable and “normal”

• phaunt forum members and blog readers: I have been BEYOND blessed to have everyone of you in my life. You’ve enabled me to do what I love and make so many amazing friends in the process. I cannot wait to meet some of you in person (yay for {p}V!) and hope to eventually meet all of you someday. Thank you for putting up with me in this transition time as well since I’ve been a bit MIA and scatterbrained.

• My God and My Country: Nuff Said

On top of all of those blessings in my life, I also have this precious gift of a daughter, Lilly, who has been the focus of my attention (even more so than normal) in the last month.

When I first heard the diagnosis one of the thoughts in my head was how was she going to deal with the shots and pricks that are a part of every day life for a diabetic? I cringed thinking that I would have to be giving my child 4-5 shots a day, and 6-8 finger pricks on top of that. My little girl, only 5 years old, how is she going to deal with all these changes and interruptions in what should be a carefree and simple childhood?

There were tears the first few shots, but amazingly, that was it. She quickly has adapted and really does not complain at all about the whole process. There has been a few times she’s been upset (and I know in the future there will be more), but I have been blown away by her courage and resiliance and acceptance of the whole situation.

She quickly became able to test herself, and has started giving herself her own shots as well (after we draw up the insulin and make sure she’s doing it right, of course). She has become very good at recognizing when she is low, and telling us right away. She’s accepted the fact that she can’t just eat anything at any time now. She will willingly (usually) eat “free” things when it’s too close to dinner to give a shot for some carbs. She’s accepted all of the annoying things that are now a part of daily life for us all.

Just last nite I was looking for her log book to write down her numbers, and she giggled and said, “Mommy I was writing in the numbers you forgot, I can do it now!” And she had done a pretty good job:

I had to hold back tears when looking at her handwriting in that log book. The reality of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks. My baby, who I had wanted to protect from the harsh reality of the world for as long as possible, is now dealing with a situation that us grown adults have a hard time adapting to.

No child should have to be poked and pricked numerous times a day, simply to survive. No child should have to decide whether they want to have a shot just because they want to eat a handful of chips. No child should have to wake up at 2am to be tested. She shouldn’t have to do these things, and she has every right to be angry and upset at the world (just like I am at times).

But she’s accepted the situation (for now) and has gone back to just being a kid. On the day she went back to school she told me, “Mommy I told my friends that I’m not sick, I’m just Lilly!”

I cannot express what’s in my heart for my little girl. She’s an amazing individual and already is my hero in this whole situation. Her beautiful smile and gleeful laughter makes me realize that no matter how hard this whole situation is, it’s worth it. She’s worth a million hours of frustration and tearing my hair out over counting carbs and logging insulin.

I thank God that she’s in my life and we have the privledge of raising her and witnessing the beauty of her soul and her heart. I cannot wait to see what she does with her life, because I know she will touch hearts, she already has.

So that’s my sappy Thanksgiving post for this holiday season.

And for those of you who took the time to actually read thru my ramblings…. Leave me a comment, let me know what YOU are thankful for. I’ll pick one commenter to win a Yearly VIP membership. You can comment until next Monday when I’ll chose the winner.

Have a great Turkey Day everyone!

I announced back quite a few months ago that a new project was in the works, called Photoshop Naked. The very first installment is now ready for everyone to check out! I released it to the VIPs earlier in October, but had to finish up the website for it before I could post about it and link everyone else.

So are you ready??? Just go to the PS Naked Website and you’ll see what the first installment is!!

GO HERE TO CHECK IT OUT

This first sneak peek is absolutely free to everyone, all you have to do is sign up (it just puts you on my mailing list, which you can unsubscribe to at any time), and then you can access your free ebook.

I’ve already gotten a lot of feedback from people that are loving the ebook, so I’m happy to announce it here on the blog.

I am so excited to get this out, I had a great time making it and can’t wait to hear some feedback on it. Let me know what you think!

 And to celebrate this I’m running a sale (extended from the weekend since I had so many people request it).. the VIP section of the forum is just $60 for ONE FULL YEAR.. normally $79!

This the VIPs already have goodies from LCH Design, Kelly Haddad Design, a $35 Gift Certificate to the phaunt store, and more to come this month.

We also are VERY lucky to have Natalie Bacon as our guest speaker this month and one lucky VIPer will win her Senior Solutions guide this month (all other VIPer get a big discount on it!).

Not to mention, as a yearly VIP you’ll have access to the other 5 months worth of speakers and goodies that the VIPs have recieved.

To purchase a VIP membership, all you need to do is sign up on the phaunt forum:

GO HERE TO REGISTER

You will have to post an intro and then when your account is approved just  go to THIS THREAD and read how to become a VIP.

So go snag the ebook, feel free to pass the link to anyone and everyone you can think of, the more the merrier!! I’ll be posting a contest in a few days, gotta think up a good one

And no post is complete without a picture!